One of the most common mistakes that people do is, they care too much about what other people think of them, even strangers. They like to lead a life in other people’s eye. This attitude of a person limits his potential and success.
Thinking about social judgement becomes a habit. They do whatever, break whatever, in order to protect their image in the eyes of the others.
The ridiculous thing about this is that the people’s way of thinking changes, the way in which they see things go different time to time. You can’t change yourself according to the changing perceptions of people’s mind. You can’t just please everyone.
Just imagine. Things can’t be always smooth. There will be rough roads for all of us.
Think. Who are all the people who hold your hands in difficult times and uplift you? One, two? Almost no one gives a shit.
So if you are trying to maintain good image of you in their minds, you are silly. It’s your life. You have to better yourself. It’s not someone’s life. It’s none of their business. No one comes to your rescue, ‘cause of the fact you’ve maintained good image in their minds.
Do whatever your heart, the inner pure mind tells you do. Don’t give a damn to what others think. You miss the enjoyment in this short life, if you pay a heed for social judgement. There’s really no time to care about others. It’s your life.
According to people in India, nowadays, one who reads Gita is not interested in life, he is going to become a saint, something like that. Gita is the book that learns a person how to live and that’s all. Most of the people take a miss here. People resist read the book, fearing about people’s false judgement.
You can see clearly that people are resisting betterment of their lives by fearing about the social judgement.
In many aspects, because of this very attitude of people, they are moving towards evil, forgetting goodness and spirituality.
Another common example on this is laughing. Imagine a movie scene; a humor scene. You don’t understand. Everyone laughs. You also laugh, caring about social judgement begins.
Modern trend of maintaining online personas, social media, Facebook are all playing a great role in making people to care more about others think of them. Maintain a good profile, valuing the number of likes we receive for our status. We post a status or an image, waiting for other people to like it. They are subconsciously imbibing the nature of caring for social judgement in us.
The moment you realize these kind of things that are indirectly making us think more about people’s judgement about us, you will learn not giving a damn to what others think.
People judge you based on their own morals, their own assumptions, their own mental projections. They may be true or false. Hence, different people think different about you.
If you care for them all, you miss your own morals and principles.
You assume what other people assume to be ideal. Your assumption may not be true. You can’t say what a person thinks of you, unless they speak up or you ask them directly. So, why care?
The nature of valuing what others think, may lead to external validation. Where you ask people around you things regarding your decisions, what they think of your decisions. Which means you are directly being controlled by other people’s beliefs, values. You forget yourself. You start to live what others think ideal. By forgetting oneself, self-development is not possible.
Here’s a short anecdote. A school girl was wearing blue jeans, blue shirt everyday, I mean everyday. Whereas her friends were colorful. A person watched her daily as she was daily wearing blues. That person finally asked her one day, “It seems that your school has no dress code. Why you wear blues daily?. Doesn’t it seem odd?”. She replied, “By wearing colors, I don’t get concentration on what teachers teach. I don’t know why. I like to be on the same dress code every day. I wish my school has dress code. I don’t care what others think.”.
In order to stop caring for social judgement you should do mainly two things.
Set a clear goal in life, based on values and your heart.
Work towards it whatever it comes, don’t caring whatever people around you think of it.
The moment you fear the people’s judgement, setback is yours. It will limit your potential. No matter how crazy your actions maybe. If it’s goal-oriented, simply do that.
You person who is judging is also not perfect, is not so called the ideal one. Realize that.
Once you stop giving a damn to other people’s judgement, you’ll get freedom. Things will be more enjoyable from there on.
Stop living for others. Follow your heart. Let your brain feel the rhythm of your heart, and your acts follow them. For you, it should be your heart, your vision, your goal. It’s your life.